by Cori Leigh | May 20, 2024 | Cups of Hope
You know those mornings that start off with a bang? The ones that shout, “Let the stresses of the day begin” as soon as you open your eyes. Before your cup of coffee even! I had such a morning several years ago.
I’d been sick with a bad cold, losing sleep for a few nights in a row. One morning, I was awakened by my daughter who said, “Mom, the washing machine is broken.”
As we went to the kitchen together, she shared the story. The machine was filled with water that wouldn’t drain out, and her clothes were still inside. As I listened, I brewed some coffee. Definitely needed a cup before dealing with this!
My daughter asked, “Mom, do you feel okay? You don’t look very good.”
I explained I was still battling the cold and could just imagine how awful I looked!
Armed finally with a fresh cup of coffee, I headed down to our basement laundry room. I peeked inside the broken machine that attempted to ruin my morning. I saw my daughter’s wet clothes soaking in soapy water, and in my mind’s eye, it was laughing back at me, saying, “Good morning!”
I felt like a grumpy cat as I sat down, determined not to let a broken washing machine set the pace for the day ahead. I gathered my thoughts, ready to deal with the task at hand.
After bailing out the water, I hand-wrung the entire load of laundry. They were finally ready for the dryer. I felt thankful for living in modern times and not having to do this often. It’s amazing what we can take for granted until it breaks. Thankfully, upon reaching out for help it turned out to be an easy and affordable fix!
When a day starts off on the wrong foot, it can be challenging to turn things around. However, with the right mindset and strategies, you can navigate through the difficulties and still find joy in your day. Here are suggestions to help you cope with those days that just don’t go as expected.
Take a Deep Breath
When things start going wrong, it’s important to take a moment to pause and breathe deeply. This simple act can help calm your mind and body, allowing you to approach the situation with a clearer perspective.
- Find a Quiet Spot: Step away from the chaos for a moment. This could be a quiet room, a bathroom, or even a corner where you can be alone.
- Breathe Deeply: Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat this several times until you feel a sense of calm.
- Focus on the Present: Concentrate on the rhythm of your breathing. This helps ground you in the present moment, reducing anxiety about the past or future.
Prioritize Self-Care
When you’re not feeling well, it’s crucial to acknowledge it and be gentle with yourself. Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate; even small acts can make a significant difference.
- Start with Comfort: Begin your day with something comforting, like a warm cup of coffee or tea, a cozy blanket, or soft music.
- Rest When Needed: If you’re ill or exhausted, don’t push yourself too hard. Resting is essential for recovery.
- Hydrate and Nourish: Drink plenty of water and eat nutritious foods to support your body, especially when you’re under the weather.
Break Down the Problem
When faced with a challenging situation, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Breaking down the problem into smaller, manageable tasks can make it seem less daunting.
- Identify the Issue: Clearly define what the problem is. For instance, if the washing machine is broken, the immediate issue is the standing water and soaked clothes.
- Create a Plan: List out the steps needed to resolve the issue. This might include bailing out the water, wringing out the clothes, and contacting a repair service.
- Tackle One Task at a Time: Focus on completing one step before moving on to the next. This helps prevent feelings of overwhelm and keeps you organized.
Ask for Help
Don’t hesitate to involve family members or friends when you’re dealing with a tough situation. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
- Communicate Clearly: Explain the situation and how the other person can assist. Be specific about what you need help with.
- Share the Load: Delegate tasks to others, whether it’s household chores, running errands, or simply providing moral support.
- Express Gratitude: Show appreciation for the help you receive. A simple thank you can go a long way in maintaining supportive relationships.
Stay Positive
Maintaining a positive mindset can be challenging when things aren’t going well, but it’s crucial for navigating tough days. Optimism can help you see challenges as temporary and surmountable.
- Practice Gratitude: Each morning, take a moment to reflect on three things you’re grateful for. This shifts your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right.
- Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to boost your mood. Phrases like “I can handle this” or “This too shall pass” can reinforce a positive outlook.
- Visualize Success: Imagine yourself overcoming the day’s challenges successfully. Visualization can build confidence and reduce stress.
Find Humor
Sometimes, laughter truly is the best medicine. Finding humor in a difficult situation can lighten your mood and make the problem seem less severe.
- Laugh at the Absurdity: Allow yourself to see the funny side of a frustrating situation. For instance, visualizing the washing machine “laughing” at you can turn a negative moment into a more lighthearted one.
- Share a Laugh: Tell a funny story or joke to someone else. Sharing laughter can strengthen bonds and provide emotional relief.
- Watch or Read Something Funny: Take a break to watch a comedy show or read something humorous. This can provide a quick mood boost and a mental break from stress.
Gratitude
Being thankful for the conveniences and comforts you usually have can shift your perspective and help you appreciate the small things in life.
- Gratitude Journal: Keep a journal where you write down things you’re grateful for each day. This practice can enhance your overall sense of well-being.
- Express Thanks: Verbally express your gratitude to others. Whether it’s thanking a family member for their support or appreciating a colleague’s help, vocalizing gratitude strengthens relationships.
- Focus on the Positives: When faced with a broken washing machine, instead of focusing on the inconvenience, be thankful for having a washing machine in the first place and for the times it works perfectly.
Keep Moving Forward
Accept that some days will be tough, but don’t let them define your entire day. Keep pushing forward with a determined spirit, knowing that challenges are temporary.
- Set Small Goals: Break your day into small, achievable goals. Completing each one provides a sense of accomplishment and keeps you moving forward.
- Stay Flexible: Be willing to adapt and change your plans as needed. Flexibility can reduce frustration and help you handle unexpected issues better.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate small victories throughout the day. This positive reinforcement can boost your morale and keep you motivated.
Remember, despite the obstacles, life is still beautiful! By incorporating these tips and strategies, you can navigate through even the toughest days with resilience and grace.
by Cori Leigh | Apr 10, 2024 | At the Heart of Caregiving, Encouragement for Caregivers
March 5, 2019, began like any other day, but it swiftly turned into a defining moment that would forever alter our family. A devastating car accident left my parents injured and their vehicle totaled, shattering our sense of normalcy.
The crash inflicted several injuries on my mother: broken ribs, a concussion, a crushed collarbone, hearing loss, and persistent tinnitus. My father, though less physically harmed, suffered from back injuries, hearing loss, and signs of concussion.
The aftermath was a whirlwind of hospital visits, medical appointments, and the daunting challenge of managing their injuries. Their once active and independent lives were suddenly marked by vulnerability and struggle.
This ordeal was not merely a physical blow; it was an emotional and psychological one. The trauma of the accident shook our family to its core. In those early days, it felt as though life had been irrevocably divided into “before” and “after” the accident, marking the beginning of a challenging new chapter.
When life changes dramatically, it’s essential to allow yourself to grieve the loss of your previous normal.
This doesn’t mean giving up hope, but acknowledging that life has changed and that it’s okay to feel sadness, frustration, or even anger about it.
Becoming a Caregiver
As their physical and emotional recovery began, it became clear that my role shifted to caregiver. Both of my parents struggled with hearing loss, adding another layer of complexity to their situation. Their emotional and cognitive struggles were evident.
Taking on the role of a caregiver was not something I had anticipated. It was, however, a responsibility I’d come to accept and embrace. This shift in roles is one that many adult children face as their parents age, often triggered by a significant event like an accident or illness.
Seek Support
- Whether through support groups, counseling, or trusted friends, don’t try to navigate the caregiving journey alone.
- Caregiver burnout is real, and having a network of support can make a world of difference.
- Consider reaching out to local organizations that offer resources for caregivers.
A Shifting Reality
Over the next few years, the impact of the accident became increasingly apparent. Each day brought new challenges. The initial shock evolved into a deep understanding of how much my parents had aged.
Our family dynamics shifted significantly. What was once a relationship based on mutual support had evolved into one where I was the primary caregiver. This shift can be difficult to accept, both for the caregiver and the ones being cared for. It’s a reminder that life is ever-changing, and we must adapt to those changes, even when they are unwelcome.
Adapt to Change
- Life rarely goes according to plan.
- Embrace change rather than resist it.
- Find new ways to connect with loved ones.
- Redefine your relationships in positive ways.
- Flexibility and patience are key during these times of transition.
The Long Road Ahead
My journey through caring for my mom and dad’s needs was not just about managing immediate ones but about adapting to a long-term reality. It required me to confront the evolving nature of our family dynamics, recognizing that the support and care my parents needed were part of a larger, ongoing commitment.
Reflecting on that fateful day, I see it as the beginning of a journey that, though challenging, has taught me invaluable lessons about love, resilience, and the enduring strength of family bonds. The road ahead is one of continuous adaptation, but it’s paved with hope and unwavering commitment.
Focus on the Positive Notes
While caregiving can be overwhelming, it’s also an opportunity to strengthen family bonds and create lasting memories.
- Focus on the positive aspects of your new role.
- Celebrate the small progress along the way.
Life’s unexpected turns, like the car accident that redefined our family dynamics, can be difficult to navigate. But within these challenges lie opportunities for growth, connection, and deepening relationships. By embracing the changes and finding support, we can rise above the pain and discover a renewed sense of purpose and hope.
I’d love to hear your stories and insights in the comments below. Sharing your experience can help others who are going through similar challenges.
Have you experienced a similar shift in family dynamics?
How did you navigate the changes?
by Cori Leigh | Jul 11, 2023 | Short Stories
“C’mon Pete, we have to walk a little faster or we’re going to be late for school,” said Pete’s ten-year-old sister, Mary.
“It’s just that my legs won’t go fast, Mary,” five-year-old Pete whined.
“If you don’t walk faster, I’m walking on without you. Do you want to go all alone?” she said.
“Mommy said you can’t leave me because I’m too young,” he reminded her as they walked down the poverty-stricken street.
Pete reached into his right pocket and started playfully jiggling a red jelly bean.
“If you don’t walk faster, I’ll leave you here, I promise!” Mary said angrily.
They continued the long trek to school while Pete tried to speed up his steps. He splashed his running shoes in a big puddle of water.
“Mary, my Sunday school teacher said God wants us to be nice to people. So you have to be nice to me, okay?” he said with his big blue eyes looking up at her.
“Okay, Pete, I’ll try, but keep walking faster. If you don’t, I’ll hold your hand all the way there.”
“I don’t like holding your hand. It makes my hand sweat.”
“Then walk quickly and don’t talk, just walk,” she ordered.
Silence took over the remainder of the next few minutes. Mary enjoyed a moment of peace.
“Pete, we’re almost there. We’ll get there before the bell rings,” she said.
Oh no! Where’s Pete?
Mary couldn’t believe he had disappeared. Pete was there just a few minutes ago.
“Pete! Where did you go? Last time I looked, you were right here!” She called out for her brother.
No, Pete didn’t pop out from behind a bush or respond to her calls. It was as if he had vanished.
Mary stood for a few seconds, her mind racing as she ran toward the school to tell someone.
Meanwhile, little Pete was on a journey of his own. He had seen a cute kitten a few minutes ago and stopped to pet it. As it darted behind a bush, Pete chased it and found it under the bush with the cutest eyes staring back at him.
“Hi, little kitty, you are so cute. Do you want to come to school with me?” he said sweetly as he picked up the kitten.
Pete took his backpack off his shoulders and opened it up to place the kitten inside. Excited to show his friends and his sister what he had found, he closed the backpack and put it back over his shoulders.
As he walked toward the school, he realized Mary was nowhere in sight.
“You okay back there, kitty?” he asked.
He walked, hoping to see his sister soon on the way.
Back at the school, Mary was in a frenzy, not knowing where Pete was. Mrs. Hayward, the school secretary, said they would call their mother.
“But my mom will be so mad at me because I lost my brother,” Mary said with a worried look on her face.
“It isn’t your fault, Mary. Just sit here for a few minutes,” Mrs. Hayward reassured her as she picked up the phone.
Pete, meanwhile, realized he was lost. He began to look for someone who could help. He prayed to God to help him find his way.
“What are you doing out on the streets all alone, boy?” a gruff voice said from behind him.
Pete turned around to see a tall older man with torn clothes and a long white beard.
“Son, you look lost. My name is Ben. What’s your name?”
“Pete. Can you help me find my school? I lost my sister and myself, too. I found a kitten and it’s lost too. That’s how I got lost. I chased it and then put it in my backpack,” Pete said, trying not to cry.
“I can probably help you find your school. Did you say you have a kitten in your backpack?” the man asked.
“Yes, would you like to see it? It’s cute and little,” Pete offered.
“Sure.”
Pete took off his backpack and opened it up, but the kitten was gone.
All he could do was cry now. He was lost, scared, and couldn’t find his sister. Now the kitten he was going to take to school was gone!
“I’m scared!” Pete cried as he looked hopelessly up at the man.
“It’s okay to be scared. I’ve been afraid lots of times. I’ve been lost just like you and spent many nights hungry. I wish I had something to give you, but I don’t have anything. I’m just a poor homeless man. Let’s go try to find your school and your sister. Maybe the kitten will find you again.”
“What is a homeless man?” Pete asked curiously.
“I have no home to live in, no bed to sleep in, no money to buy food or clothing,” the man explained.
“At my church, we give things to people who have nothing. Maybe you should come to my church and get some stuff. They can help you there. Maybe they’ll even give you a home. Sometimes, we eat at church. Maybe they can feed you. They have a plate we put money in, and there is always a lot of money in it. Maybe they will give you some money,” Pete said.
“God gave up on me years ago, and so did people. I don’t think your church wants to see someone like me,” the man said sadly, having lost hope and faith.
“They would be nice to you and even give you new clothes. The ones you’re wearing aren’t good. You might get cold with all those holes in your clothes.”
“Pete! Where have you been?” a familiar voice yelled from across the street.
Pete looked over and saw his mom running toward him. Taking his knapsack off his back, he put it on the ground and reached in to grab his lunch.
“Here is my lunch. I want you to have it so you aren’t hungry anymore. Jesus will make more just like he did with the bread in the Bible. Then you will always have something to eat. Bye and thanks for helping me,” Pete said as he handed the old man his lunch.
He ran over to his mother.
“Who is that man, Pete? I told you never to talk to strangers,” his mom said as they walked across the street toward her car.
“Mom, he has no home. He was nice to me. He’s lost just like me and hungry, so I gave him my lunch,” Pete said.
“I am so glad you’re okay, Pete. It was nice of you to give the man your lunch. I just don’t want you talking to strangers,” Pete’s mom said, touched by her son’s compassion.
“Mom, I forgot to give him something,” Pete said. Then he walked over to the man who was sitting on the curb eating the lunch Pete had given him.
“I want you to have this, too. It’s my special red jelly bean. Every time I remember a Bible verse, my mom gives me a jelly bean. This morning I got a red one. Don’t eat it—just look at it every day so you can remember God loves you. He’ll get you new clothes and a home too!”
“Thanks, boy. Tell your mom she makes a good lunch.”
“Okay, bye.”
Two weeks later…
The same man walked into a local church carrying the red jelly bean Pete had given him. He would never forget the kind little boy he met on the street. Pete had given him a glimmer of hope beyond his pain.
Every time he looked at the red jelly bean, he thought of Pete and God’s love for him. For the first time, he had hope for a better tomorrow.
