During the time when anxiety was at its worst, I was raising two girls on my own. Every night, I would read a bedtime story to my youngest daughter before she fell asleep. It was our quiet time together. A simple moment I cherished.
One night, in the middle of reading, a panic attack suddenly came over me. I tried to push through it. I wanted to stay present for her. But I couldn’t. Just a few minutes later, I had to stop.
“Mommy will be back in a minute,” I told her, as I hurried downstairs to be alone.
The panic was rising fast. Fear and dread flooded in.
I felt like I was losing control. My breathing became rapid and shallow. I couldn’t catch my breath. My thoughts spiraled. I felt trapped, desperate to escape, but there was nowhere to go.
I paced the living room floor, back and forth, praying for it to end. In that moment, anxiety and fear were all I could feel.
Then, through the intensity, a small sense of clarity broke through.
Breathe.
Little by little, I slowed my breathing.
Gradually, the panic began to ease.
The episode lasted about twenty minutes, but it felt much longer.
When it passed, I was completely drained.
I went back upstairs, exhausted. As I walked into the room, I saw my little girl sleeping peacefully, the book still clutched in her tiny hands. She had waited for me.
Tears filled my eyes.
I gently took the book from her hands, tucked her in, and turned out the light. A deep sadness settled in as I realized anxiety had stolen that precious moment.
Anxiety intruded on many moments like this during those years.
But even then, deep inside, I held on to a small hope that life would not always feel this way.
That there was something more beyond the anxiety.
It has now been over 20 years since that night.
The road to healing was not quick or easy. It was filled with both hills and valleys. But over time, real change came.
The more I surrendered the pain of my past, the lighter and freer I began to feel.
Today, I can say this with confidence:
There is life beyond anxiety. A life I once thought was impossible.
9 Tips for Coping with Anxiety and Panic Attacks
If you are someone who is experiencing anxiety or panic attacks,
please know that you’re not alone.
Here are some practical steps that helped me. I hope they can help you regain
a sense of calm when panic rises:
1. Breathe Deeply and Slowly
One of the first signs of panic is rapid, shallow breathing.
When you notice this, gently bring your focus to your breath. Inhale slowly for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale for four.
Repeat this until your breathing begins to steady.
Slow breathing helps calm your body and signals that you are safe.
2. Ground Yourself in the Present
Panic often pulls you out of the present moment, creating a sense of disorientation and fear. To bring yourself back, use grounding techniques like focusing on the physical sensations around you.
You can try the “5-4-3-2-1” technique:
Identify 5 things you can see,
4 things you can touch,
3 things you can hear,
2 things you can smell, and
1 thing you can taste. Grounding techniques help center your mind and body in the present reality, easing the sensation of panic.
3. Challenge Your Thoughts
Anxiety often fills your mind with worst-case scenarios.
In those moments, gently ask yourself: Is this fear, or is this fact?
Remind yourself that anxious thoughts are not always true.
They are a symptom and not a reality.
4. Forgive Yourself When Panic Strikes
This is so important.
Panic attacks can leave you feeling embarrassed, frustrated, or even guilty.
This is especially true when they happen around others.
But anxiety is not your fault.
Be gentle with yourself.
Speak to yourself with kindness: “It’s okay. This will pass. I’m doing my best.”
Self-compassion is a powerful part of healing.
5. Create a Safe Space
Having a place where you feel calm can make a difference.
This could be a quiet room, a cozy chair, or simply a corner of your home.
Add things that bring comfort like soft lighting, calming music, or a soothing scent.
When anxiety rises, retreating to this space can help you feel more grounded.
6. Reach Out to Someone
Panic can feel incredibly isolating.
Reaching out to someone you trust helps. It can be a friend, family member, or therapist who can help ease the loneliness.
Even knowing someone is there can bring comfort.
7. Be Mindful of Triggers
Caffeine, sugar, alcohol, and even constant negative news can increase anxiety.
Pay attention to what affects you.
Try replacing these with things that support your well-being.
Try things like water, herbal tea, or uplifting content.
8. Practice Regular Self-Care
Caring for yourself consistently builds resilience.
This might include walking, journaling, prayer, quiet time, or gentle movement.
Small, steady habits can make a big difference over time.
9. Consider Professional Support
If anxiety feels overwhelming or persistent, you don’t have to face it alone.
Therapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), can be very effective.
In some cases, medication may also help.
Reaching out for support is a step toward healing is not weakness.
A Word of Encouragement
No matter what you are facing today, there is hope.
Anxiety may feel overwhelming, but it does not define your future.
Healing takes time. Progress may come slowly. But it does come.
Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself.
And remember this:
Even when anxiety steals a moment, it cannot steal your future.
Life beyond anxiety is real. And step by step, you can walk into it.
I did not expect it to change any of my friendships.
When life shifted and loss entered my world, I began to see people differently.
Grief has a way of revealing what is real.
It shows who leans in. It shows who steps back. And it shows who quietly disappears.
This happened to me after experiencing multiple losses.
Primarily after my dad passed away.
When Grief Changes Everything
Grief is not just emotional. It is physical. Mental. Spiritual.
It touches every part of life.
There were days I felt exhausted. Days when just getting through the day took everything I had.
In those moments, I did not need perfect words. I needed presence.
Sometimes that presence came in simple ways. A message. A check in. Someone sitting with me in the hard.
Other times, it did not come at all.
That is when I began to understand that not everyone knows how to walk through grief with someone.
And not everyone is willing to.
The Friend Who Stayed
There were people who showed up in quiet, meaningful ways.
They did not always have the right words. But they were there.
They listened. They checked in. They gave space when needed, and support when it mattered most.
These are the friendships that deepened.
Not because everything was easy, but because they chose to stay when things were hard.
There is something very sacred about that kind of friendship.
The Ones Who Drifed Away
There were also friendships that changed.
Some became distant. One faded slowly. A few others seemed to disappear without explanation.
At first, that added another layer of hurt.
Grieving the loss of a loved one is already heavy. Grieving friendships at the same time can feel overwhelming.
Over time, I began to see it differently.
Not everyone understands grief. Some people feel uncomfortable. Some do not know what to say. Others may not have the capacity to show up in difficult seasons.
While that does not remove the hurt, it can help bring a little understanding.
What Grief Reveals
Grief has a way of revealing the truth about relationships.
It shows which friendships are rooted in care, compassion, and consistency.
It also shows which ones may have been built on convenience or shared seasons that no longer fit.
That can be painful to see. But it can also be clarifying.
For me, it became a quiet shift. A deeper awareness of who was truly present in my life.
And in that awareness, I found both loss and gratitude.
If You’re Walking Through This Too
If you are grieving and noticing changes in your friendships, you are not alone.
It is okay to feel the loss of those friendships. It is okay to feel hurt and confused. It is okay to take a step back and protect your heart.
Not everyone will understand your journey. And that is not a reflection of your worth.
The people who are meant to walk with you will not require you to hide your grief. They will meet you in it.
A Quiet Place of Faith
For me, my faith became an anchor in the middle of it all.
In the silence. In the questions. In the moments when people stepped back, I found a deeper sense of comfort in God’s presence.
It did not remove the pain. But it gave me strength to keep going.
And it reminded me that even when people change, I am never truly alone.
Carrying love forward
Even when relationships change or end, love does not have to disappear.
I carry the lessons, kindness, and impact of the people I have lost.
Their influence shapes how I live. How I love. How I move forward.
This has given me a deeper sense of clarity in my relationships.
I no longer measure connection by history alone. I look for authenticity. Support. Growth.
And that shift has brought both peace and intention.
Moving Forward with Clarity and Grace
Grief changes us. And it changes our relationships.
Not all friendships will continue in the same way. Some will grow stronger. Others may fall away.
Both can be part of the process.
With time, there can be a gentle acceptance. A release of expectations. A deeper appreciation for the ones who remain.
Grief may reveal what hurts.
But it also reveals what is real.
And in that, there is a quiet kind of hope.
A gentle reflection
If there is one thing I have learned, it is this.
Loss reveals who can hold space for you.
True friends stand by you.
Grief and love can coexist and shape purpose. Letting go of a friendship can be an act of courage. The essence of those we love never fades.
Even in grief and changing friendships, hope remains.
Grief may reveal what hurts.
But it also reveals what is real.
And in that, there is a quiet, steady hope.
Join the conversation in the comments;
How has loss shaped your friendships?
Have you discovered who truly stands by you in difficult seasons?
What qualities matter most to you in a friendship now?
Have you ever had to let go of a friendship that no longer fit your life?
If so, what did that experience teach you?
If you’re reading this it’s likely you’re grieving a loved one. I am sorry for your loss. The sadness feels crushing, and imagining life without your loved one seems impossible. While the weight of grief is heavy, there is hope for life after loss.
In 2019, my parents were in a serious car accident. In a single moment, everything changed. Though they survived, that day marked the beginning of a long season of care-giving, uncertainty, and later heartbreaking loss.
Just a few months later, while still caring for them, I lost a close aunt suddenly and unexpectedly. She passed away only six weeks after being diagnosed with aggressive cancer.
Not long after, my father was diagnosed with cancer as well. He was also living with mixed dementia and Alzheimer’s. My dad fought bravely, but in 2022, he passed away. Shortly before he died, my dog Bella, my loyal companion of over 17 years suddenly passed away in her bed beside me.
Grief runs deep. It reaches into our bodies, our thoughts, our relationships, and even our sense of identity and purpose.
With each loss I didn’t know how to carry the pain. Life kept shifting under my feet, and often I couldn’t see a way through. Maybe you’ve felt that too? Like you’re walking through a fog, unsure if life will ever feel steady or light again. It felt like I lost myself along with those I love.
Over time, I began to see that grief doesn’t disappear, it just changes. The love stays. The memories remain. And somehow, slowly, we surprisingly begin to rise again. These days, I live with moments of hope, renewed purpose, and even glimpses of joy.
Not every day is easy. Some days still bring waves of sorrow and I expect they always will. I’ve learned to welcome those waves rather than resist them. In some strange and sacred way, they bring me closer to the ones I’ve lost.
This post isn’t a checklist to “fix” your grief. Nothing I say can remove your pain or bring your loved one back. Here you’ll find gentle, small ways to care for yourself as you walk your personal and unique journey through grief.
Understanding the Impact of Grief
As you navigate each day, it helps to take a moment and give yourself grace.
Grief touches every part of us, emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. It drains our energy, clouds our thinking, and makes everything familiar feel suddenly foreign. We’re left with a painful emptiness that echoes the depth of our loss.
You may feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself. I did too. You might find yourself asking, Who am I now without them? On the hardest days, it can seem like hope and the idea of living fully again is out of reach.
But over time, we’re reminded that healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to live again with our grief, not beyond it or without it. Grief becomes part of our story, not the whole of it. And slowly, the weight begins to feel a little less heavy. The intensity softens. We begin to carry it differently as we continue our journey through loss.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
Give yourself permission to feel everything. Grief is not something to fix or rush through. It’s something to feel, hold, and move through at your own pace.
Cry when you need to. Sit with your sorrow. Let the tears come, or the silence speak. You don’t have to be strong for anyone else. Your heart is doing the hard work of carrying love and loss at the same time.
Remember the love you shared. Let it remind you that your grief is a reflection of that love. Learning to live with grief begins when we stop suppressing our pain and start honoring the truth of our feelings.
Find Comfort in Small Routines
When grief makes life feel uncertain, small daily routines can offer gentle stability.
A warm cup of tea in the morning. A short walk in the fresh air. Lighting a candle at sunset. Reading or listening to something that brings you comfort.
These small moments can become anchors in your day. They remind you that while everything has changed, not everything is lost. Life still moves forward, even in sorrow.
Simple routines can help you find your footing again. It comes softly, slowly, and at your own pace.
Connect with Others
Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone.
Reach out to those who care, whether it’s a friend, a family member, church events, or a support group. Sometimes, just having someone sit with you in silence or listen to your memories can bring a deep sense of comfort. You don’t need to have the right words. Love still surrounds you, even when it feels distant.
Let others walk with you, even if just for a little while.
Creativity While in Grief
Grief often brings emotions too big for words. Creative expression can offer a way to release what’s been held inside.
Through journal writing, painting, music, writing poetry, or crafting something in memory of your loved one. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. Let your heart lead. It’s not about the final product, but about the healing that can happen in the process.
Self Care During the Difficult Times
Grief takes a toll not only by breaking our heart, but on the body and mind.
You may feel exhausted, forgetful, anxious, or unable to rest. That’s all part of the process. Try to nourish your body with good food, stay hydrated, and rest when you need to. Take gentle walks or stretch. If needed, speak with a counselor or mental health professional.
Self-care is not selfish. It’s a form of love for yourself and for the one you’ve lost. When you care for yourself, you’re making space to keep going, one moment at a time.
Keeping Their Memory Alive
Remembering our loved ones them carries their love forward in comforting ways.
Whether through simple creative expressions or other actions inspired by who they were while here. These gestures help us feel their presence and keep them close.
Lighting a candle on their birthday. Cooking their favorite meal. Creating a memory book. Continuing a tradition they cherished. These small but meaningful things help your heart move forward with love. Allowing you the space to honor and continually remember the life they lived. Grief may change, but love remains.
Open Your Heart to Hope
Hope doesn’t mean you’re “over it.” It means believing that light can shine through, even in sorrow.
Some days, hope looks simply like getting out of bed. Other days, it might mean smiling at a memory or laughing again. These moments matter. Hope is not the absence of grief. It’s the gentle presence of possibility that joy and sorrow coexists. A reminder that life can still hold meaning, even after great loss.
Leaning on Your Faith
For those of us of faith, we move forward with the hope of being reunited with our loves ones in Heaven. What a beautiful reunion that will be!
Faith is our lifeline when everything else feels lost. When words fall short and sorrow is too deep, turning to prayer, scripture, or quiet reflection can bring comfort. Trusting in God’s presence reminds us we are not alone. He is near to the brokenhearted, even in the silence. Faith doesn’t erase the pain, but it can hold us steady as we walk through it.
For me, there is deep comfort in the promise that I will one day see my loved ones again. This eternal hope doesn’t make the pain vanish, but it gives me strength to face each day. My faith helps me rise,even in grief, with the quiet assurance that their love never truly ends.
Moving Forward: Life After Loss
Life after loss is not about going back to who you were.
It’s about becoming someone new with the love and lessons of those you’ve lost carried within you. Finding purpose might look different now.
For some, it’s helping others. For others, it’s living more intentionally, embracing beauty in the small things, or simply continuing to show up each day.
You may not feel strong right now, and that’s okay. Strength in grief is not loud or heroic. It’s quiet. It’s choosing to keep going, even when your heart is still breaking.
You Can Rise Again with Hope, Meaning, and Purpose After Loss
Loss changes us, but it doesn’t have to define us. The love we carry doesn’t disappear. It does transform us. And slowly, in our own time, we can learn to live again. You can learn to live with the grief, with the love, and with hope. Each day, even in small ways, you can rise again.
Ever since I was a young girl through writing, I’ve expressed my deepest feelings and thoughts. Journaling has been especially helpful during a prolonged season of caregiving, anticipatory grief, and navigating multiple losses.
In 2019, my parents were involved in a bad car accident, and I began assisting as one or their caregivers. My mom sustained a serious concussion, significant hearing loss, 9 broken ribs, and a crushed collarbone.
My dad hurt his back, his hearing loss intensified – and it was bad before, dementia became more noticeable than prior to the accident. Both of them suffered from the emotional trauma the accident caused.
Two months later…
My close aunt (my dads sister) was diagnosed with aggressive cancer and passed away within six weeks. My aunt Lois was like a best friend to me and I miss her so much!
Shortly after my aunt’s passing, my dad was diagnosed with cancer while already living with dementia.
The pandemic of 2020 further increased my caregiving responsibilities over the next few years…
In August 2022, my beloved 17 ½-year-old dog, Bella, suddenly passed away beside me. She was my constant companion and always by my side! My Bella
was a little 10 pound long haired Chihuahua with a big heart. She filled my life with her love and loyalty!
Soon after Bella passed away, my dad’s condition declined and he entered palliative care at home.
During those next few months, I cared for him most nights from mid evening until his PSW relieved me in the morning. In the quiet of those nights, as I watched over him while he slept, the light of my laptop screen pierced the darkness. Consumed with anticipatory grief, I knew I would soon lose my dad to lymphoma, which had also taken my aunt.
I poured my broken and weary heart into journaling my thoughts and my grief. It was so difficult watching my dad’s life fade away in front of me. In the early morning of November 12, 2022, my sister, her husband, and I were with my dad as he passed away. In the moment he took his last breath I struggled to draw my next one.
It was the moment my heart shattered and life as I knew it had forever changed!
Fresh grief entered in and consumed me like an unwelcome intruder once again. This time deeper than I’d ever felt before.
Writing about my journey with my father through life and his illness helped me cope with the loss and deep grief.
A year later after my dad passed, we had to put our 16-year-old Lab mix, Koda to sleep. We had Koda from age 5 1/2 weeks old. My daughter and I were to meet my mom and sister for dinner in memory of my dad on what would have been his 87th birthday.
My dad loved our goofy sweet boy Koda and it is my hope and belief they are together again. I wrote more about the experience of navigating pet loss here.
Since then another close Aunt and cousin passed away too. It’s been a lingering season of loss, grief, fatigue, overwhelm, emptiness, and drastic changes. I felt so broken and lost. Navigating grief while caring for my well-being was incredibly challenging.
The act of journaling helped immensely as I struggled to make sense of my life and all the heartache that came with multiple losses.
The Role of Journaling
Journaling became more than just an outlet for my grief; it was a crucial tool for self-care. Writing, sometimes multiple times a day, offered me comfort and helped me process my whirlwind of emotions.
As I wrote, I began to piece together my thoughts and untangle the emotions that felt too overwhelming to confront or share with others. I found it to be healing as I navigated my grief, losses and the different life I now live. I wrote a post called The Healing Power of Journaling you can read it here.
Why Journaling Helps with Grief
The weight of grief creates an overwhelming storm of emotions, making it challenging to navigate daily life.
Journaling offers a safe space to release emotions and express complex feelings.
Processing Grief: Writing helps us make sense of our emotions, allowing us to explore and understand our pain more deeply. Through journaling, we can confront complex feelings, identify patterns, and gain insights into our grief journey.
Self-Reflection: Journaling encourages self-awareness, leading to personal growth and resilience. Reflecting on experiences can provide valuable insights into our emotional responses.
Stress Reduction: Grief is stressful on our minds and bodies. Writing about our thoughts and feelings reduces stress and anxiety, promoting a sense of calm.
Finding Comfort: Journaling can help identify moments of hope and gratitude, shifting focus from pain to appreciation and finding comfort in the legacy of love and memories.
In these moments of reflection, we uncover glimpses of hope and gratitude
for the legacy of love and memories we carry close to our hearts.
Finding Comfort Through Writing
Life is filled with challenges and moments that weigh us down. Along the way, we lose loved ones, and it hurts. For me, journaling has been a lifeline, helping me cope with deep grief and navigate multiple losses.
If you are navigating the grief of losing a loved one — I’m sorry for your loss.
I encourage you to find a quiet space and let your thoughts flow. You may discover that journaling can be a light of hope in the darkest times.
You know those mornings that start off with a bang? The ones that seem to declare, “Let the stress begin!” before you even open your eyes—before you’ve had your first sip of coffee?
I had one of those mornings several years ago.
I was battling a bad cold, exhausted that morning from several nights of poor sleep. Just after I got up before my first cup of coffee, my daughter appeared in my bedroom doorway.
“Mom, the washing machine is broken.” my daughter said with a worried look on her face.
Not exactly the words you want to hear first thing in the morning. As we walked to the kitchen together, she filled me in. The machine was full of water that refused to drain, and her soapy and wet clothes were trapped inside.
My daughter studied me for a moment. “Mom, are you okay? You don’t look so good.”
I managed a tired smile. “I’m still fighting this cold and probably look as bad as I feel!”
I brewed a cup of coffee—because some things are best dealt with after drinking my caffeine filled cup!
After a few minutes of coffee and wake up time, I made my way to the basement laundry room. Sure enough, there it was the washing machine filled with soapy water and her sopping wet clothes! They were stuck in between cycles and the water would not drain.
I sat down, willing myself not to let this inconvenience dictate the rest of my day. One step at a time, I bailed out the water and hand-wrung the entire load of laundry. It was tedious, but as I worked, a wave of gratitude settled over me.
Modern conveniences make life easier, and moments like this remind us not to take them for granted. Thankfully, after reaching out for help, I learned it was an easy and affordable fix.
That morning could have ruined my entire day—but it didn’t. Because here’s the truth: when a day starts off on the wrong foot, it doesn’t have to stay that way. We have the power to reset our mindset and reclaim the the day!
Here are a few simple ways to turn things around when your having a tough day;
Take a Deep Breath
When stress hits, take a moment to pause and breathe deeply. This simple act can help calm your mind and body, allowing you to approach challenges with clarity.
Find a quiet spot. Step away from the chaos for a moment—whether it’s a quiet room, a bathroom, a peaceful corner, or the nature and beauty outdoors!
Breathe deeply. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat several times until you feel calmer.
Focus on the present. Pay attention to your breath, helping ground yourself in the moment rather than stressing over what’s ahead.
Prioritize Self-Care
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, self-care is essential toward shifting your perspective.
Start with comfort. Wrap yourself in a cozy blanket, sip a warm cup of tea, or listen to soothing music.
Rest when needed. If your body is asking for a break, honor it. Rest is necessary for recovery and resilience.
Hydrate and nourish. Drink water and eat something nutritious to support your body, especially if you’re under the weather.
Break Down the Problem
Feeling overwhelmed? Break big problems into smaller steps. Tackling them one by one makes challenges feel more manageable.
Identify the issue. Clearly define the problem. In my case, the washing machine breaking wasn’t just about the appliance—it was about the waterlogged clothes and figuring out a fix.
Make a plan. List out the steps needed to address the issue. It might involve troubleshooting, reaching out for help, or adjusting your schedule.
Take it one step at a time. Focusing on one task at a time keeps overwhelm at bay.
Ask for Help
You don’t have to handle everything alone. Seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Communicate clearly. Let others know how they can help you.
Share the load. Whether it’s asking family for assistance, calling a friend, or hiring a professional, delegating tasks lightens the burden.
Express gratitude. A simple thank-you goes a long way in fostering supportive relationships.
Stay Positive
A tough moment doesn’t have to define your entire day. Shifting your mindset can help you move forward with optimism.
Practice gratitude. Take a moment to list three things you’re thankful for. Shifting focus from problems to blessings can change your perspective.
Use affirmations. Remind yourself, “I can handle this” or “This is temporary.” Positive self-talk can make a big difference.
Visualize success. Imagine yourself overcoming the day’s challenges with ease. A hopeful outlook can boost confidence and reduce stress.
Find Humor
Laughter is powerful—it lightens the what is weighing heavy on your heart offering relief in difficult moments.
Laugh at the absurdity. Sometimes, situations are so ridiculous that they’re almost funny. Seeing the humor in small mishaps can make them feel less overwhelming.
Share a laugh. Talk to a friend or family member who always knows how to make you smile.
Watch or read something funny. Taking a break with a comedy show or uplifting book can provide a much-needed mental reset.
Cultivate Gratitude
Finding something to be grateful for, even on a rough day can shift your entire mindset.
Keep a gratitude journal. Write down a few things you appreciate each day, no matter how small.
Express thanks. Let someone know you appreciate them, whether it’s a family member, friend, or coworker.
Focus on the positives. Even if something goes wrong (like a broken washing machine), there’s still something to be thankful for—like the fact that it’s fixable.
Keep Moving Forward
A challenging morning doesn’t mean the rest of your day has to be difficult. You have the power to turn things around.
Set small goals. Break the day into manageable tasks, checking them off as you go.
Stay flexible. Unexpected challenges may arise, but adjusting your mindset can help you adapt with grace.
Celebrate small wins. Even small victories—like handling a problem calmly—are worth acknowledging.
Some days are tough, but they don’t have to define us. With the right mindset and practical steps, we can reset, find joy, and move forward with resilience. Remember, even on the hardest days, life can still be bright and beautiful.
I’d love to hear from you in the comments !
What are some simple things you do to brighten a difficult day?
