If you’re reading this it’s likely you’re grieving a loved one. I am sorry for your loss. The sadness feels crushing, and imagining life without your loved one seems impossible. While the weight of grief is heavy, there is hope for life after loss.
In 2019, my parents were in a serious car accident. In a single moment, everything changed. Though they survived, that day marked the beginning of a long season of care-giving, uncertainty, and later heartbreaking loss.
Just a few months later, while still caring for them, I lost a close aunt suddenly and unexpectedly. She passed away only six weeks after being diagnosed with aggressive cancer.
Not long after, my father was diagnosed with cancer as well. He was also living with mixed dementia and Alzheimer’s. My dad fought bravely, but in 2022, he passed away. Shortly before he died, my dog Bella, my loyal companion of over 17 years suddenly passed away in her bed beside me.
Grief runs deep. It reaches into our bodies, our thoughts, our relationships, and even our sense of identity and purpose.
With each loss I didn’t know how to carry the pain. Life kept shifting under my feet, and often I couldn’t see a way through. Maybe you’ve felt that too? Like you’re walking through a fog, unsure if life will ever feel steady or light again. It felt like I lost myself along with those I love.
Over time, I began to see that grief doesn’t disappear, it just changes. The love stays. The memories remain. And somehow, slowly, we surprisingly begin to rise again. These days, I live with moments of hope, renewed purpose, and even glimpses of joy.
Not every day is easy. Some days still bring waves of sorrow and I expect they always will. I’ve learned to welcome those waves rather than resist them. In some strange and sacred way, they bring me closer to the ones I’ve lost.
This post isn’t a checklist to “fix” your grief. Nothing I say can remove your pain or bring your loved one back. Here you’ll find gentle, small ways to care for yourself as you walk your personal and unique journey through grief.
Understanding the Impact of Grief
As you navigate each day, it helps to take a moment and give yourself grace.
Grief touches every part of us, emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. It drains our energy, clouds our thinking, and makes everything familiar feel suddenly foreign. We’re left with a painful emptiness that echoes the depth of our loss.
You may feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself. I did too. You might find yourself asking, Who am I now without them? On the hardest days, it can seem like hope and the idea of living fully again is out of reach.
But over time, we’re reminded that healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to live again with our grief, not beyond it or without it. Grief becomes part of our story, not the whole of it. And slowly, the weight begins to feel a little less heavy. The intensity softens. We begin to carry it differently as we continue our journey through loss.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
Give yourself permission to feel everything. Grief is not something to fix or rush through. It’s something to feel, hold, and move through at your own pace.
Cry when you need to. Sit with your sorrow. Let the tears come, or the silence speak. You don’t have to be strong for anyone else. Your heart is doing the hard work of carrying love and loss at the same time.
Remember the love you shared. Let it remind you that your grief is a reflection of that love. Learning to live with grief begins when we stop suppressing our pain and start honoring the truth of our feelings.
Find Comfort in Small Routines
When grief makes life feel uncertain, small daily routines can offer gentle stability.
A warm cup of tea in the morning. A short walk in the fresh air. Lighting a candle at sunset. Reading or listening to something that brings you comfort.
These small moments can become anchors in your day. They remind you that while everything has changed, not everything is lost. Life still moves forward, even in sorrow.
Simple routines can help you find your footing again. It comes softly, slowly, and at your own pace.
Connect with Others
Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone.
Reach out to those who care, whether it’s a friend, a family member, church events, or a support group. Sometimes, just having someone sit with you in silence or listen to your memories can bring a deep sense of comfort. You don’t need to have the right words. Love still surrounds you, even when it feels distant.
Let others walk with you, even if just for a little while.
Creativity While in Grief
Grief often brings emotions too big for words. Creative expression can offer a way to release what’s been held inside.
Through journal writing, painting, music, writing poetry, or crafting something in memory of your loved one. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. Let your heart lead. It’s not about the final product, but about the healing that can happen in the process.
Self Care During the Difficult Times
Grief takes a toll not only by breaking our heart, but on the body and mind.
You may feel exhausted, forgetful, anxious, or unable to rest. That’s all part of the process. Try to nourish your body with good food, stay hydrated, and rest when you need to. Take gentle walks or stretch. If needed, speak with a counselor or mental health professional.
Self-care is not selfish. It’s a form of love for yourself and for the one you’ve lost. When you care for yourself, you’re making space to keep going, one moment at a time.
Keeping Their Memory Alive
Remembering our loved ones them carries their love forward in comforting ways.
Whether through simple creative expressions or other actions inspired by who they were while here. These gestures help us feel their presence and keep them close.
Lighting a candle on their birthday. Cooking their favorite meal. Creating a memory book. Continuing a tradition they cherished. These small but meaningful things help your heart move forward with love. Allowing you the space to honor and continually remember the life they lived. Grief may change, but love remains.
Open Your Heart to Hope
Hope doesn’t mean you’re “over it.” It means believing that light can shine through, even in sorrow.
Some days, hope looks simply like getting out of bed. Other days, it might mean smiling at a memory or laughing again. These moments matter. Hope is not the absence of grief. It’s the gentle presence of possibility that joy and sorrow coexists. A reminder that life can still hold meaning, even after great loss.
Leaning on Your Faith
For those of us of faith, we move forward with the hope of being reunited with our loves ones in Heaven. What a beautiful reunion that will be!
Faith is our lifeline when everything else feels lost. When words fall short and sorrow is too deep, turning to prayer, scripture, or quiet reflection can bring comfort. Trusting in God’s presence reminds us we are not alone. He is near to the brokenhearted, even in the silence. Faith doesn’t erase the pain, but it can hold us steady as we walk through it.
For me, there is deep comfort in the promise that I will one day see my loved ones again. This eternal hope doesn’t make the pain vanish, but it gives me strength to face each day. My faith helps me rise,even in grief, with the quiet assurance that their love never truly ends.
Moving Forward: Life After Loss
Life after loss is not about going back to who you were.
It’s about becoming someone new with the love and lessons of those you’ve lost carried within you. Finding purpose might look different now.
For some, it’s helping others. For others, it’s living more intentionally, embracing beauty in the small things, or simply continuing to show up each day.
You may not feel strong right now, and that’s okay. Strength in grief is not loud or heroic. It’s quiet. It’s choosing to keep going, even when your heart is still breaking.
You Can Rise Again with Hope, Meaning, and Purpose After Loss
Loss changes us, but it doesn’t have to define us. The love we carry doesn’t disappear. It does transform us. And slowly, in our own time, we can learn to live again. You can learn to live with the grief, with the love, and with hope. Each day, even in small ways, you can rise again.
Ever since I was a young girl through writing, I’ve expressed my deepest feelings and thoughts. Journaling has been especially helpful during a prolonged season of caregiving, anticipatory grief, and navigating multiple losses.
In 2019, my parents were involved in a bad car accident, and I began assisting as one or their caregivers. My mom sustained a serious concussion, significant hearing loss, 9 broken ribs, and a crushed collarbone.
My dad hurt his back, his hearing loss intensified – and it was bad before, dementia became more noticeable than prior to the accident. Both of them suffered from the emotional trauma the accident caused.
Two months later…
My close aunt (my dads sister) was diagnosed with aggressive cancer and passed away within six weeks. My aunt Lois was like a best friend to me and I miss her so much!
Shortly after my aunt’s passing, my dad was diagnosed with cancer while already living with dementia.
The pandemic of 2020 further increased my caregiving responsibilities over the next few years…
In August 2022, my beloved 17 ½-year-old dog, Bella, suddenly passed away beside me. She was my constant companion and always by my side! My Bella
was a little 10 pound long haired Chihuahua with a big heart. She filled my life with her love and loyalty!
Soon after Bella passed away, my dad’s condition declined and he entered palliative care at home.
During those next few months, I cared for him most nights from mid evening until his PSW relieved me in the morning. In the quiet of those nights, as I watched over him while he slept, the light of my laptop screen pierced the darkness. Consumed with anticipatory grief, I knew I would soon lose my dad to lymphoma, which had also taken my aunt.
I poured my broken and weary heart into journaling my thoughts and my grief. It was so difficult watching my dad’s life fade away in front of me. In the early morning of November 12, 2022, my sister, her husband, and I were with my dad as he passed away. In the moment he took his last breath I struggled to draw my next one.
It was the moment my heart shattered and life as I knew it had forever changed!
Fresh grief entered in and consumed me like an unwelcome intruder once again. This time deeper than I’d ever felt before.
Writing about my journey with my father through life and his illness helped me cope with the loss and deep grief.
A year later after my dad passed, we had to put our 16-year-old Lab mix, Koda to sleep. We had Koda from age 5 1/2 weeks old. My daughter and I were to meet my mom and sister for dinner in memory of my dad on what would have been his 87th birthday.
My dad loved our goofy sweet boy Koda and it is my hope and belief they are together again. I wrote more about the experience of navigating pet loss here.
Since then another close Aunt and cousin passed away too. It’s been a lingering season of loss, grief, fatigue, overwhelm, emptiness, and drastic changes. I felt so broken and lost. Navigating grief while caring for my well-being was incredibly challenging.
The act of journaling helped immensely as I struggled to make sense of my life and all the heartache that came with multiple losses.
The Role of Journaling
Journaling became more than just an outlet for my grief; it was a crucial tool for self-care. Writing, sometimes multiple times a day, offered me comfort and helped me process my whirlwind of emotions.
As I wrote, I began to piece together my thoughts and untangle the emotions that felt too overwhelming to confront or share with others. I found it to be healing as I navigated my grief, losses and the different life I now live. I wrote a post called The Healing Power of Journaling you can read it here.
Why Journaling Helps with Grief
The weight of grief creates an overwhelming storm of emotions, making it challenging to navigate daily life.
Journaling offers a safe space to release emotions and express complex feelings.
Processing Grief: Writing helps us make sense of our emotions, allowing us to explore and understand our pain more deeply. Through journaling, we can confront complex feelings, identify patterns, and gain insights into our grief journey.
Self-Reflection: Journaling encourages self-awareness, leading to personal growth and resilience. Reflecting on experiences can provide valuable insights into our emotional responses.
Stress Reduction: Grief is stressful on our minds and bodies. Writing about our thoughts and feelings reduces stress and anxiety, promoting a sense of calm.
Finding Comfort: Journaling can help identify moments of hope and gratitude, shifting focus from pain to appreciation and finding comfort in the legacy of love and memories.
In these moments of reflection, we uncover glimpses of hope and gratitude
for the legacy of love and memories we carry close to our hearts.
Finding Comfort Through Writing
Life is filled with challenges and moments that weigh us down. Along the way, we lose loved ones, and it hurts. For me, journaling has been a lifeline, helping me cope with deep grief and navigate multiple losses.
If you are navigating the grief of losing a loved one — I’m sorry for your loss.
I encourage you to find a quiet space and let your thoughts flow. You may discover that journaling can be a light of hope in the darkest times.
Grief comes in many forms, and the loss of a beloved pet can be one of the most profound experiences of sadness and heartache we face. Pets are more than companions; they become family members, deeply woven into the fabric of our daily lives. Their love is constant and unconditional; losing them can leave a hole that feels impossible to fill.
As a family, we’ve faced many layers of loss over the years, but the loss of our pets during difficult times hit particularly hard. At the end of August 2022, my little dog Bella, who had been with me for 17 ½ years, passed away in her dog bed, right beside me.
Her loss was just the beginning of a cascade of grief, as my father, already weakened by cancer, passed away just 2 ½ months later. The grief I experienced wasn’t only tied to many other losses, but also to the realization that layers of my life were unraveling all at once.
Layers of Grief: When Loss Piles Up
From 2019 to 2024, I experienced a series of losses that included both close family members and pets. After Bella’s passing, I knew in my heart that I would eventually need another dog, but I wasn’t prepared for how deep the void would feel. Bella had been my shadow, my loyal friend, my constant companion for 17 ½ years.
She wasn’t just my pet; she was family. Bella had this special way of offering comfort—not just to me, but to my dad, who was living with dementia. She was a quiet support dog, her presence giving him something to focus on, a source of care and love in his final few years of life.
When Bella died, I felt completely lost. Her absence was so tangible that I felt it in every moment. She had been such an integral part of my caregiving journey with my parents that I couldn’t imagine life without her by my side.
This was a deep grief, the kind that isn’t always understood by others. Many people dismiss pet loss as “lesser” than losing a human loved one. The truth is that losing a pet is also carries a heavy weight of grief.
The Decision to Open My Heart Again
After Bella’s death, I began to think about adopting another dog. I knew I wasn’t ready just yet. I was still caring for my dad, and I could feel the weight of anticipatory grief as I watched him decline. His battle with cancer was nearing its end, and I was trying to balance the sadness of losing Bella with the knowledge that I would soon lose my dad too.
Then, just before my dad passed away, I received a call from a rescue organization about a tiny one-year-old Shih Tzu/Chihuahua mix named Emma. She needed a home, and they thought I might be the right person to adopt her.
I was torn. and not sure I could handle the emotional toll of bringing a new dog into my life while I was still grieving Bella. Given my dad’s failing health I began to reconsider adopting because of the time-sensitive urgency for them to rehome her.
The date to take her with us was set for November 12 2022 but my dad was so very sick. Still, I agreed to take her knowing my daughter could help care for her while I cared for my dad.
On the same day in the early morning of November 12, my dad passed away at home with my sister, her husband and I by his side. Given the heartbreaking circumstances of losing my dad, I almost canceled the adoption plans.
My 27-year-old daughter, who still lives with me, said something in my parent’s kitchen that changed my perspective.
“Mom, we’ve been through so much,” she said through tears. “Maybe new life may help us cope with the loss of Bella and Papa.”
Her words resonated with me. She was right. Despite the overwhelming grief, there was a chance that a new life—no matter how small—might bring some light into our darkest days.
On the day my dad passed away, Emma was delivered to us. She was just 4 ½ pounds, a fragile little soul who had come from a difficult first year of life. And in that moment, I understood her fear, because I was feeling so lost myself.
Two years later, Emma has become a special friend, helping to fill the void that Bella left behind. But even though I’ve opened my heart to another dog, I still miss Bella every day. Grief is like that. It doesn’t go away entirely, but it becomes part of who we are, and in time, we learn to live alongside it.
Less than a year after losing Bella and my dad, our 21-year-old cat, Daisy Girl, also passed away due to old age. We were blessed to have her with us for so long, but her loss was still deeply felt.
Then, just a month and a half later, we lost our 16-year-old lab mix, Koda. He had been with us since he was just 5 ½ weeks old, and he passed on what would have been my dad’s 87th birthday.
Amid all this heartache, our dear Emma became even more special. In the days, months, and now almost a year since we lost Koda, we’re still learning to live without those we loved so dearly.
Pet grief is hard, and while we may eventually move forward, our hearts remain open to the love we had—and always will have—for them.
How do you move forward and heal your wounded heart? You do, but it’s not about leaving the grief behind; it’s about moving with the grief and loss.
Grief never completely goes away, but with time, healing does happen.
Moving Forward: Finding Ways to Heal
The loss of a pet can leave you feeling overwhelmed with sadness, but there are ways to navigate this grief and eventually move forward. Here are some ways that have helped me cope, and I hope they will offer some comfort to you as well.
Acknowledge the Depth of Your Grief
Society may not always recognize the full depth of pet loss as a “real” grief. You will feel the loss deeply because the bond was real and important. Allow yourself to feel the pain and don’t be afraid to talk about it with others who understand.
Create a Memorial
One of the most healing things you can do after losing a pet is to create special ways to remember them. Whether through a photo album, a memorial in your garden, or something special like lighting a candle on the anniversary of their passing.
Acts of remembrance can help honor their memory and give you a sense of closure.
Lean on Your Support System
Grief is not something you should carry alone. Talk to friends, family, or others who have experienced similar losses. Sometimes, just sharing your story with someone who understands can be incredibly comforting.
Consider Loving Another
Opening your heart to another pet doesn’t mean you’re replacing the one you lost. Rather, it’s a way of continuing to share the love you have with another animal in need. It took me some time to welcome Emma into my life, but she has brought me joy and healing in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
Give Yourself Time
Grief is not a linear process. There will be good days and hard days, and it’s okay to feel a range of emotions. Permit yourself to grieve in your own time, and don’t rush the healing process. Remember, every relationship is unique, and so is the grief that follows.
Final Thoughts
Losing a pet is heartbreaking, but it’s also a reminder of the deep love we have for them, The grief we experience when they pass away is a reflection of how much they meant to us.
While the pain of losing Bella and my other pets will always be with me, the memories and the love I continue to share with Emma and my other pets are part of the healing process.
It’s possible to move forward with grief by continuing to love, even when it feels impossible at first. We don’t forget those we’ve lost, but we learn to make room for new connections and new joy. And in doing so, we honor the pets who brought us so much love and happiness.
Losing a loved one is a heart-wrenching experience. If you are in grief and missing a loved one, I’m sorry for your loss. The weight of grief is often compounded by extreme fatigue. When someone you love dies, it feels as if your world has been upended. My world was turned upside down as I cared for my dad, who lived with mixed dementia and cancer. I coped with waves of anticipatory grief, deeply saddened to see him struggle with his health conditions.
I cherished every moment I had left with my dad. He lived his 85 years to the fullest, filling every corner of my life with his love. My dad navigated life with vibrant energy, artistic talent, humor, and kindness. I see the season of caregiving and being with him in his time of need as a gift. It provided a chance to give back to a dad who loved me so much.
In the early morning of November 12, 2022, my dear dad passed away. During his final months, I cared for him almost every night until the personal support worker arrived in the morning. In the aftermath of his passing, I realized just how much exhaustion had accumulated over those few years of caregiving.
In this post, I share some of my journey through the intense grief and fatigue that accompany the loss of a loved one. I offer suggestions for gradually finding a new balance, renewed strength, and hope while coping with both grief and fatigue.
Coping with the Weight of Grief
“In the silence of grief, we find seeds of peace and whispers of hope for renewal and strength.
Grief affects every facet of our being, impacting every aspect of life. After my dad passed away, the weight of sadness entered every fiber of my being. I couldn’t fathom living each day without him. The loss was overwhelming and touched every area of my life. I couldn’t envision what the future would look like without my dad in it. The physical and emotional fatigue from caregiving often goes unnoticed until after our loved one has passed.
It was only after my dad’s death that I became acutely aware of how emotionally and physically drained I had become. The brain fog was so thick that I struggled to think clearly or carry out everyday tasks. I needed restoration and healing but didn’t know where to start. I felt disoriented, as my mind and body reacted to the stress of the emotional journey leading up to my dad’s passing.
Grief and fatigue affect the body and mind in various ways. Physically, you might experience sleep disturbances, headaches, muscle tension, and a weakened immune system. Emotionally, fatigue can amplify feelings of sadness, anxiety, and guilt. The constant demands of caregiving, and the emotional strain of loss, can deplete your energy, leaving you feeling drained and disoriented.
Here are some suggestions to help you cope with grief and the fatigue that accompanies it;
Understand that What Your Feeling is Normal
Grief is a deeply personal and often overwhelming experience. It can bring a range of emotions like sadness, anger, confusion, even numbness. Recognizing that these feelings are valid and part of the grieving process is the first step toward healing. You are not alone, and what you feel right now makes sense given all you’ve been through.
Acknowledge the Fatigue That Comes With Grief
Grief doesn’t just affect your emotions, it impacts your entire body. The exhaustion you feel is a natural response to the physical and emotional toll of loss. Give yourself grace. Resting isn’t lazy or indulgent, it’s essential to your recovery.
Allow Yourself to Feel and Express Emotions
Suppressing your feelings might seem easier in the short term, but unprocessed grief can linger. Give yourself permission to cry, journal, talk, or simply sit with your emotions. There’s no “right” way to grieve, only what’s true for you.
Prioritize Rest and Sleep
Healing requires rest. When your heart is heavy and your body is tired, quality sleep becomes even more important. Create a calming nighttime routine, limit screen time before bed, and make sleep a non-negotiable part of your self-care.
Practice Gentle, Nourishing Self-Care
Grief can make even the smallest tasks feel overwhelming, but small acts of self-care matter. Eat nourishing meals, go for a walk, listen to calming music, pray or meditate. These simple rituals can help support both body and soul during hard times.
Lean on Trusted Support
You don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out to those who care such as, family, close friends, or a grief support group. Surrounding yourself with people who understand can help you feel seen, heard, and less alone in your pain.
Share Your Heart and Let Others In
Talking about your loss can be incredibly healing. Whether it’s with someone you trust or through writing, expressing what’s on your heart reduces isolation. Let others carry some of the weight with you. It’s okay to lean on others when you need to.
Seek Professional Support if You Need It
Sometimes, grief can become too heavy to manage on your own. A licensed therapist or grief counselor can offer a safe space to process your loss and help you develop healthy coping strategies.
Moving Forward with Hope
Though the path through grief may feel endless, hold on to hope. In time you can rediscover a new sense of balance and hope. Moving forward with your grief isn’t about forgetting your loved one. Be gentle with yourself and recognize that this is a journey, not a destination. By taking small steps toward self-care and seeking support, you can navigate the challenges of grief.
Remember, every step forward, no matter how small, is a step toward healing. Embrace the journey with patience and compassion, knowing that peace and strength will come with time.
