Ever since I was a young girl through writing, I’ve expressed my deepest feelings and thoughts. Journaling has been especially helpful during a prolonged season of caregiving, anticipatory grief, and navigating multiple losses.
In 2019, my parents were involved in a bad car accident, and I began assisting as one or their caregivers. My mom sustained a serious concussion, significant hearing loss, 9 broken ribs, and a crushed collarbone.
My dad hurt his back, his hearing loss intensified – and it was bad before, dementia became more noticeable than prior to the accident. Both of them suffered from the emotional trauma the accident caused.
Two months later…
My close aunt (my dads sister) was diagnosed with aggressive cancer and passed away within six weeks. My aunt Lois was like a best friend to me and I miss her so much!
Shortly after my aunt’s passing, my dad was diagnosed with cancer while already living with dementia.
The pandemic of 2020 further increased my caregiving responsibilities over the next few years…
In August 2022, my beloved 17 ½-year-old dog, Bella, suddenly passed away beside me. She was my constant companion and always by my side! My Bella
was a little 10 pound long haired Chihuahua with a big heart. She filled my life with her love and loyalty!
Soon after Bella passed away, my dad’s condition declined and he entered palliative care at home.
During those next few months, I cared for him most nights from mid evening until his PSW relieved me in the morning. In the quiet of those nights, as I watched over him while he slept, the light of my laptop screen pierced the darkness. Consumed with anticipatory grief, I knew I would soon lose my dad to lymphoma, which had also taken my aunt.
I poured my broken and weary heart into journaling my thoughts and my grief. It was so difficult watching my dad’s life fade away in front of me. In the early morning of November 12, 2022, my sister, her husband, and I were with my dad as he passed away. In the moment he took his last breath I struggled to draw my next one.
It was the moment my heart shattered and life as I knew it had forever changed!
Fresh grief entered in and consumed me like an unwelcome intruder once again. This time deeper than I’d ever felt before.
Writing about my journey with my father through life and his illness helped me cope with the loss and deep grief.
A year later after my dad passed, we had to put our 16-year-old Lab mix, Koda to sleep. We had Koda from age 5 1/2 weeks old. My daughter and I were to meet my mom and sister for dinner in memory of my dad on what would have been his 87th birthday.
My dad loved our goofy sweet boy Koda and it is my hope and belief they are together again. I wrote more about the experience of navigating pet loss here.
Since then another close Aunt and cousin passed away too. It’s been a lingering season of loss, grief, fatigue, overwhelm, emptiness, and drastic changes. I felt so broken and lost. Navigating grief while caring for my well-being was incredibly challenging.
The act of journaling helped immensely as I struggled to make sense of my life and all the heartache that came with multiple losses.
The Role of Journaling
Journaling became more than just an outlet for my grief; it was a crucial tool for self-care. Writing, sometimes multiple times a day, offered me comfort and helped me process my whirlwind of emotions.
As I wrote, I began to piece together my thoughts and untangle the emotions that felt too overwhelming to confront or share with others. I found it to be healing as I navigated my grief, losses and the different life I now live. I wrote a post called The Healing Power of Journaling you can read it here.
Why Journaling Helps with Grief
The weight of grief creates an overwhelming storm of emotions, making it challenging to navigate daily life.
Journaling offers a safe space to release emotions and express complex feelings.
Processing Grief: Writing helps us make sense of our emotions, allowing us to explore and understand our pain more deeply. Through journaling, we can confront complex feelings, identify patterns, and gain insights into our grief journey.
Self-Reflection: Journaling encourages self-awareness, leading to personal growth and resilience. Reflecting on experiences can provide valuable insights into our emotional responses.
Stress Reduction: Grief is stressful on our minds and bodies. Writing about our thoughts and feelings reduces stress and anxiety, promoting a sense of calm.
Finding Comfort: Journaling can help identify moments of hope and gratitude, shifting focus from pain to appreciation and finding comfort in the legacy of love and memories.
In these moments of reflection, we uncover glimpses of hope and gratitude
for the legacy of love and memories we carry close to our hearts.
Finding Comfort Through Writing
Life is filled with challenges and moments that weigh us down. Along the way, we lose loved ones, and it hurts. For me, journaling has been a lifeline, helping me cope with deep grief and navigate multiple losses.
If you are navigating the grief of losing a loved one — I’m sorry for your loss.
I encourage you to find a quiet space and let your thoughts flow. You may discover that journaling can be a light of hope in the darkest times.
You know those mornings that start off with a bang? The ones that seem to declare, “Let the stress begin!” before you even open your eyes—before you’ve had your first sip of coffee?
I had one of those mornings several years ago.
I was battling a bad cold, exhausted that morning from several nights of poor sleep. Just after I got up before my first cup of coffee, my daughter appeared in my bedroom doorway.
“Mom, the washing machine is broken.” my daughter said with a worried look on her face.
Not exactly the words you want to hear first thing in the morning. As we walked to the kitchen together, she filled me in. The machine was full of water that refused to drain, and her soapy and wet clothes were trapped inside.
My daughter studied me for a moment. “Mom, are you okay? You don’t look so good.”
I managed a tired smile. “I’m still fighting this cold and probably look as bad as I feel!”
I brewed a cup of coffee—because some things are best dealt with after drinking my caffeine filled cup!
After a few minutes of coffee and wake up time, I made my way to the basement laundry room. Sure enough, there it was the washing machine filled with soapy water and her sopping wet clothes! They were stuck in between cycles and the water would not drain.
I sat down, willing myself not to let this inconvenience dictate the rest of my day. One step at a time, I bailed out the water and hand-wrung the entire load of laundry. It was tedious, but as I worked, a wave of gratitude settled over me.
Modern conveniences make life easier, and moments like this remind us not to take them for granted. Thankfully, after reaching out for help, I learned it was an easy and affordable fix.
That morning could have ruined my entire day—but it didn’t. Because here’s the truth: when a day starts off on the wrong foot, it doesn’t have to stay that way. We have the power to reset our mindset and reclaim the the day!
Here are a few simple ways to turn things around when your having a tough day;
Take a Deep Breath
When stress hits, take a moment to pause and breathe deeply. This simple act can help calm your mind and body, allowing you to approach challenges with clarity.
Find a quiet spot. Step away from the chaos for a moment—whether it’s a quiet room, a bathroom, a peaceful corner, or the nature and beauty outdoors!
Breathe deeply. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat several times until you feel calmer.
Focus on the present. Pay attention to your breath, helping ground yourself in the moment rather than stressing over what’s ahead.
Prioritize Self-Care
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, self-care is essential toward shifting your perspective.
Start with comfort. Wrap yourself in a cozy blanket, sip a warm cup of tea, or listen to soothing music.
Rest when needed. If your body is asking for a break, honor it. Rest is necessary for recovery and resilience.
Hydrate and nourish. Drink water and eat something nutritious to support your body, especially if you’re under the weather.
Break Down the Problem
Feeling overwhelmed? Break big problems into smaller steps. Tackling them one by one makes challenges feel more manageable.
Identify the issue. Clearly define the problem. In my case, the washing machine breaking wasn’t just about the appliance—it was about the waterlogged clothes and figuring out a fix.
Make a plan. List out the steps needed to address the issue. It might involve troubleshooting, reaching out for help, or adjusting your schedule.
Take it one step at a time. Focusing on one task at a time keeps overwhelm at bay.
Ask for Help
You don’t have to handle everything alone. Seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Communicate clearly. Let others know how they can help you.
Share the load. Whether it’s asking family for assistance, calling a friend, or hiring a professional, delegating tasks lightens the burden.
Express gratitude. A simple thank-you goes a long way in fostering supportive relationships.
Stay Positive
A tough moment doesn’t have to define your entire day. Shifting your mindset can help you move forward with optimism.
Practice gratitude. Take a moment to list three things you’re thankful for. Shifting focus from problems to blessings can change your perspective.
Use affirmations. Remind yourself, “I can handle this” or “This is temporary.” Positive self-talk can make a big difference.
Visualize success. Imagine yourself overcoming the day’s challenges with ease. A hopeful outlook can boost confidence and reduce stress.
Find Humor
Laughter is powerful—it lightens the what is weighing heavy on your heart offering relief in difficult moments.
Laugh at the absurdity. Sometimes, situations are so ridiculous that they’re almost funny. Seeing the humor in small mishaps can make them feel less overwhelming.
Share a laugh. Talk to a friend or family member who always knows how to make you smile.
Watch or read something funny. Taking a break with a comedy show or uplifting book can provide a much-needed mental reset.
Cultivate Gratitude
Finding something to be grateful for, even on a rough day can shift your entire mindset.
Keep a gratitude journal. Write down a few things you appreciate each day, no matter how small.
Express thanks. Let someone know you appreciate them, whether it’s a family member, friend, or coworker.
Focus on the positives. Even if something goes wrong (like a broken washing machine), there’s still something to be thankful for—like the fact that it’s fixable.
Keep Moving Forward
A challenging morning doesn’t mean the rest of your day has to be difficult. You have the power to turn things around.
Set small goals. Break the day into manageable tasks, checking them off as you go.
Stay flexible. Unexpected challenges may arise, but adjusting your mindset can help you adapt with grace.
Celebrate small wins. Even small victories—like handling a problem calmly—are worth acknowledging.
Some days are tough, but they don’t have to define us. With the right mindset and practical steps, we can reset, find joy, and move forward with resilience. Remember, even on the hardest days, life can still be bright and beautiful.
I’d love to hear from you in the comments !
What are some simple things you do to brighten a difficult day?
We believe the messages we tell ourselves. During a long season of living with anxiety and panic attacks, I wrote constantly. Writing became a therapeutic way of coping. Doing this helped me deal with my thoughts about the fear and anxiety in my life. Below is something I wrote when trying to remind myself that it was just anxiety.
It’s Just Anxiety
An all too familiar feeling of paralyzing fear wells up inside.
Except… there is nothing to fear.
A surge of adrenaline rushes all through me in a whoosh!
It is just a false alarm and no reason to run.
I am flooded with a multitude of uncomfortable symptoms.
It’s another panic attack.
There is an overreaction in my mind, causing it to race.
I’m thrust into fight-or-flight mode.
A strong desire enters in to have someone near.
I don’t want to be alone during the panic attack.
I tell myself…
It’s just anxiety, and it can’t hurt me.
Panic and raging fear are not my Goliath.
There’s not much it can do to me anymore.
I have lived with it for so many years.
Every new day is a strange mystery.
I never know when the panic will come.
When it does, my world is shaken.
Fear will rush in.
I will keep reminding myself of what it is.
Anxiety has no power over me.
What do you tell yourself about the anxiety in your life?
What we tell ourselves has the power to heal us or break us more. Positive affirmations that help decrease anxiety are an integral part of the healing journey.
But what if we shift our focus from anxiety, stress, and worry to more constructive and peaceful thoughts?
Here are a few benefits to consider:
Improved Mental Health: Redirecting your thoughts can reduce the intensity and frequency of anxiety. By focusing on positive outcomes, gratitude, or even small daily achievements, you create a mental buffer against stress.
Physical Health: Anxiety often manifests physically—racing heart, muscle tension, fatigue. By focusing less on stress and more on relaxation techniques, your body can experience reduced symptoms, leading to overall better health.
Emotional Resilience: When you practice shifting your focus away from worry, you build emotional strength. This resilience allows you to handle life’s challenges with a calmer mind and a stronger sense of self.
Productivity and Joy: Worrying can be paralyzing, making it difficult to focus on tasks. By minimizing anxiety, you open the door to increased productivity and a greater sense of accomplishment, which in turn brings more joy into your life.
Peace comes when you can accept yourself for who you are. Know you are more than the anxiety that may exist in your life. You can reclaim your peace and live a life with more balance and purpose.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6.
We’ve all been there—those days when nothing seems to go right from the start! Maybe it’s rushing to get somewhere on time only to forget something crucial, or dealing with unexpected setbacks. Whatever the case, bad days can leave us feeling stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed. (more…)
Grief comes in many forms, and the loss of a beloved pet can be one of the most profound experiences of sadness and heartache we face. Pets are more than companions; they become family members, deeply woven into the fabric of our daily lives. Their love is constant and unconditional; losing them can leave a hole that feels impossible to fill.
As a family, we’ve faced many layers of loss over the years, but the loss of our pets during difficult times hit particularly hard. At the end of August 2022, my little dog Bella, who had been with me for 17 ½ years, passed away in her dog bed, right beside me.
Her loss was just the beginning of a cascade of grief, as my father, already weakened by cancer, passed away just 2 ½ months later. The grief I experienced wasn’t only tied to many other losses, but also to the realization that layers of my life were unraveling all at once.
Layers of Grief: When Loss Piles Up
From 2019 to 2024, I experienced a series of losses that included both close family members and pets. After Bella’s passing, I knew in my heart that I would eventually need another dog, but I wasn’t prepared for how deep the void would feel. Bella had been my shadow, my loyal friend, my constant companion for 17 ½ years.
She wasn’t just my pet; she was family. Bella had this special way of offering comfort—not just to me, but to my dad, who was living with dementia. She was a quiet support dog, her presence giving him something to focus on, a source of care and love in his final few years of life.
When Bella died, I felt completely lost. Her absence was so tangible that I felt it in every moment. She had been such an integral part of my caregiving journey with my parents that I couldn’t imagine life without her by my side.
This was a deep grief, the kind that isn’t always understood by others. Many people dismiss pet loss as “lesser” than losing a human loved one. The truth is that losing a pet is also carries a heavy weight of grief.
The Decision to Open My Heart Again
After Bella’s death, I began to think about adopting another dog. I knew I wasn’t ready just yet. I was still caring for my dad, and I could feel the weight of anticipatory grief as I watched him decline. His battle with cancer was nearing its end, and I was trying to balance the sadness of losing Bella with the knowledge that I would soon lose my dad too.
Then, just before my dad passed away, I received a call from a rescue organization about a tiny one-year-old Shih Tzu/Chihuahua mix named Emma. She needed a home, and they thought I might be the right person to adopt her.
I was torn. and not sure I could handle the emotional toll of bringing a new dog into my life while I was still grieving Bella. Given my dad’s failing health I began to reconsider adopting because of the time-sensitive urgency for them to rehome her.
The date to take her with us was set for November 12 2022 but my dad was so very sick. Still, I agreed to take her knowing my daughter could help care for her while I cared for my dad.
On the same day in the early morning of November 12, my dad passed away at home with my sister, her husband and I by his side. Given the heartbreaking circumstances of losing my dad, I almost canceled the adoption plans.
My 27-year-old daughter, who still lives with me, said something in my parent’s kitchen that changed my perspective.
“Mom, we’ve been through so much,” she said through tears. “Maybe new life may help us cope with the loss of Bella and Papa.”
Her words resonated with me. She was right. Despite the overwhelming grief, there was a chance that a new life—no matter how small—might bring some light into our darkest days.
On the day my dad passed away, Emma was delivered to us. She was just 4 ½ pounds, a fragile little soul who had come from a difficult first year of life. And in that moment, I understood her fear, because I was feeling so lost myself.
Two years later, Emma has become a special friend, helping to fill the void that Bella left behind. But even though I’ve opened my heart to another dog, I still miss Bella every day. Grief is like that. It doesn’t go away entirely, but it becomes part of who we are, and in time, we learn to live alongside it.
Less than a year after losing Bella and my dad, our 21-year-old cat, Daisy Girl, also passed away due to old age. We were blessed to have her with us for so long, but her loss was still deeply felt.
Then, just a month and a half later, we lost our 16-year-old lab mix, Koda. He had been with us since he was just 5 ½ weeks old, and he passed on what would have been my dad’s 87th birthday.
Amid all this heartache, our dear Emma became even more special. In the days, months, and now almost a year since we lost Koda, we’re still learning to live without those we loved so dearly.
Pet grief is hard, and while we may eventually move forward, our hearts remain open to the love we had—and always will have—for them.
How do you move forward and heal your wounded heart? You do, but it’s not about leaving the grief behind; it’s about moving with the grief and loss.
Grief never completely goes away, but with time, healing does happen.
Moving Forward: Finding Ways to Heal
The loss of a pet can leave you feeling overwhelmed with sadness, but there are ways to navigate this grief and eventually move forward. Here are some ways that have helped me cope, and I hope they will offer some comfort to you as well.
Acknowledge the Depth of Your Grief
Society may not always recognize the full depth of pet loss as a “real” grief. You will feel the loss deeply because the bond was real and important. Allow yourself to feel the pain and don’t be afraid to talk about it with others who understand.
Create a Memorial
One of the most healing things you can do after losing a pet is to create special ways to remember them. Whether through a photo album, a memorial in your garden, or something special like lighting a candle on the anniversary of their passing.
Acts of remembrance can help honor their memory and give you a sense of closure.
Lean on Your Support System
Grief is not something you should carry alone. Talk to friends, family, or others who have experienced similar losses. Sometimes, just sharing your story with someone who understands can be incredibly comforting.
Consider Loving Another
Opening your heart to another pet doesn’t mean you’re replacing the one you lost. Rather, it’s a way of continuing to share the love you have with another animal in need. It took me some time to welcome Emma into my life, but she has brought me joy and healing in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
Give Yourself Time
Grief is not a linear process. There will be good days and hard days, and it’s okay to feel a range of emotions. Permit yourself to grieve in your own time, and don’t rush the healing process. Remember, every relationship is unique, and so is the grief that follows.
Final Thoughts
Losing a pet is heartbreaking, but it’s also a reminder of the deep love we have for them, The grief we experience when they pass away is a reflection of how much they meant to us.
While the pain of losing Bella and my other pets will always be with me, the memories and the love I continue to share with Emma and my other pets are part of the healing process.
It’s possible to move forward with grief by continuing to love, even when it feels impossible at first. We don’t forget those we’ve lost, but we learn to make room for new connections and new joy. And in doing so, we honor the pets who brought us so much love and happiness.
